Saturday, August 25, 2007
peoplealwaysleave
i wanted to write something. and then i forgot. then i thought about pokkap. mm. thats a drink by the way. is this what happens when people get depressed? probably? mental blocks, mood swings. kinda sounds like concurrent-period-syndrome.
seriously, have you ever felt like, you have something to say to someone, but the words just wont slip. or like you just wanna let it all out, but you cant, because your kinda afraid of the outcome? i used to be a champion in keeping emotions hidden. but i dont know whats gotten into me these few days. i think i need some sort of medication.
i think life sucks. or maybe just mine. well, i really dont wanna be a really pathetic person sitting on my stupid couch moping and being a really whiny brat, but it feels like crap and i have to let it go somehow really, so pardon me. i just realised i used the word 'really' quite often, ohk. well, sucks because, we always want more than what we bargained for. ohk now i forgot what i wanted to say, again.
sometimes i think i have memory retardation. seriously? like i can forget things in an instant. maybe it was because i bumped my head really hard on a brick wall when i was younger. ohk i was joking. i do NOT run into walls.
life's hard. i think i need some sort of guide. its like this really huge maze(like the one in harry potter,only 10000 times bigger), and if you dont find your way, you die(literally), because sometimes, no one can save you. and you have to save yourself.
now i dont feel like doing this anymore.
anyway, to my one-and-only becca, i know wayniq just left. &sometimes we cant help what happens. well, people always leave, and i know that your strong. &i havent seen you cry since. but sometimes we dont have to pretend we're all happy. maybe sometimes its better to let it all out. you know? just know that, if that wall that holds you up so steady decides to break some day, and if you have to cry it all out, i promise i'll be there.
why dont you hear me when im calling out to you?